I Love Christmas!

Which is funny, because actually christmas is normally not my favorite holiday, cause it gets so stressful sometimes. It just makes me nervous and hurried all the time. But right now im really enjoying it. We have our tree up in the big, empty room between the dining room and my room. And its a really really nice tree. That was one of the saddest material things when we moved to ghana. Every year in the states we got a real tree. And it wasnt christmas until the house smelled like christmas tree. Its still one of my favorite comfort smells. Fake trees just didnt cut it. And it didnt help that when we first moved here, our tree was the size of my big toe. Ok, maybe a little bigger, but to give you a point of reference, we had to put it up on a little end table so people could see it. Now thats sad. ANYWAYS, thanks to my sweet mumsie, we have a beautiful tree this year that makes me smile every time i walk past it. its beautiful.

Yesterday we had missionary fellowship at our house. And it was so fun. Im gonna be totally honest here and say that normally i dont love missionary fellowship. more on that later, but just know that yesterday i loved it. We, as a group, chose three 'secular' christmas songs and three 'sacred' christmas songs (my dad's wording, i like it). One of the secular songs was "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas" It is now officially one of my favorite christmas songs. if you havent heard it, you need to. like now. And one of our sacred songs was "O Holy Night". Now let me turn all grinchy for a second and say that i dont really like most 'sacred' christmas songs (I really do sound like scrooge. sorry). They just seem a little too nice to me. Silent Night? Away in a Manger. They make having a baby in a nasty, animal-filled cave sound romantic. Now Ive never had a baby, but from what i hear, its anything but calm and bright. And i betcha the baby Jesus cried. he was a human baby after all. But this song yesterday was so good to me. I loved it. "A thrill of hope, The weary world rejoices. For yonder breaks, a new and glorious morn". Thats such a beautifully apt way to describe our world. weary.

I dont know about you, but being in the world makes me tired. Hopeless. Useless. There's so much crap happening that after awhile you stop getting mad and start getting tired. at least i do. A Thrill of Hope. How desperately do we need that? Especially at christmas when you want to puke if you see one more strand of lights, one more piece of tinsel, have to buy one more present. Shouldnt that thrill of hope be enough? Cause it got me real excited yesterday. The knowledge of what that hope could mean to the world made me a lot less tired. People talk about world peace a lot, and seem to think that if we had that, all the world's problems would be solved. But how do you have peace without hope? How do you have hope without Someone to save you, to hold you close and whisper that hope in your ear when youre just too tired to hear it? Christmas is beautiful, but not for the reason most people think. Its beautiful because a baby boy was born to a very very young girl and her scared husband in a cave, in some not-sterilized-straw, lauded by shepherds who saw the glory and praise that this baby wrapped in rags would inspire. That is beautiful because it is so very plain. Its not flashy, no tinsel, or lights, or even pretty christmas trees. Just a baby and a mama and an army of angels that some little boys out watching the sheep got to see.

That sure gives me a thrill of hope. If He could come the way He did and still do all the things He did, how can I not do and be what He's called me to?

I dont have a title for this post. There are so many things colliding in my head right now so the title-line-thingamagigger looks dauntingly small. I cant deal with that right now. But the problem with having a lot going on in my head is that i absolutely have to get some of it out. So this is what yall get: brain vomit. gross. im really sorry i just wrote that. but i dont want to delete it.

I absolutely love to travel. I think i unconsciously have known this but it really became true this past week. I love reading about places and people but there is something so beautiful about seeing, hearing and feeling those places. You can read all about the culture and beauty of a place, but until you feel it, you cant truly recognise it and experience it. For those of you who travel, even if its just to the next town in your state, you know what i mean. Its the feeling you get, the smell that hits you, or the color of the sky, as you open your car door or step off the plane.

I just got back from an MUN trip to Amman, Jordan by way of Cairo, Egypt. Hence this particular brain vomit. The first thing i thought when i stepped off the plane in Cairo was, "cold". Which in my world is very relative. and then it was, "blue sky". The sky was incredibly beautiful when we landed. The reaction was very much the same in Amman, minus the blue sky. it was dark. But here's the thing. I love those first impressions. But what stays with me is the expression and personality of the people who make that country what it is. And let me just say, middle eastern or Arab hospitality is absolutely unrivaled. They are the most accomodating, kind and enthusiastic strangers i have ever met. For example, when we got to the airport in Cairo, we had steeled ourselves for an extremely boring 8 hour layover full of homework and uncomfortable airport chairs. What we got was a fully paid for tour of the city complete with the pyramids, sphinx, guide, shopping, and an incredible lunch. Who does that?? Middle eastern hospitality apparently. Amazing. I will not even attempt to describe it because, quite honestly, words often cheapen things as amazing as this. Ill try with pictures later.

I also love coming home. Ive decided home is defined by those same feelings, colors and smells that make travel so distinct. On the way back we discussed in detail the humidity that drapes itself around you as you step off the plane in Ghana. None of us was looking forward to it. But then I actually stepped off the plane and that humidity, combined with the smell and feel of charcoal cooking fires and diesel fuel let me know i was home. And this is the cool thing. That doesnt mean i will only feel at home with those first impressions. Home may one day be the feel of dry desert heat combined with the unforgettable sound of wind blowing through open space. Or a sharp layer of cold and an unbelievably blue sky. The point is that you recognize what home feels like the moment you step off the plane, wherever home may be at that moment. And that is beautiful to me. Its one of the things that makes travel so satisfying.

I hope home soon feels like middle eastern warmth and kindness.

Village People

You know that feeling of total frustration and anger at a faceless, unreachable entity that will never know the full extent of your wrath only because you will never find the person who is ultimately to blame? If you dont, you have never flown Delta from Atlanta to Accra. If you do, you must, like me, have assumed that when you check your bags straight through from Atlanta to Accra it means they arrive with you. Silly? yeah. Stupid? probably. Because, according to Delta checking your bags straight through means they arrive, at the earliest, two days later. Read the fine print people. You would think i would get used to this, but no. Delta's unfailing and obnoxiously consistent tendency to lose our bags actually surprises me every time. Call me stupidly optimistic.

My last first day of required school was today. And it was one of the strangest, most unique first days i have ever experienced. We didnt go to classes. Didnt even see our teachers or classrooms. No books, supply lists, or schedules in sight. No, today was devoted solely to school unity-building games and activities. We were divided into villages which were made up of two people from grades 6 through 12. In our villages we got to learn everyone's names, hobbies, colors, etc. THEN we got to name our village, elect a chief, and choose a mascot. TOMORROW we get to come up with a skit in our village. The best two will be performed in front of the whole student body on friday afternoon.

I am all for school unity and getting to know kids in other grades. But walking into my french teacher's class (she was our 'village leader') and seeing "Welcome Village People" written in fun bubble letters on the board, it all became a little much. It has been an interesting few days. But the bottom line, thankfully, is that i am genuinely glad to be home in Ghana. And really, with the whole luggage thing, the Lord totally provided. we all had just enough for the next few days and the cheese, lunch meats, and chocolates came. All of which were miraculously still frozen. Laughter is so good in our house right now. I love being home.
Now this chief of the Blue Lama village needs to sleep.
please dont ask.

Home

Well, once again ive been my lazy self and havent blogged in over a month. I dont even know why i do it, i write like five in my head but when i sit down to type them, i dont know i just dont feel like it any more. weird. anyways.

Im writing from the States now. Which is fun. I love being able to go to the tea shop and talk to all the amazing ladies who work there. they inspire and encourage me in so many ways. I love sitting around and doing nothing with the greatest friends in the world, talking about absolutely everything, or watching many, many episodes of Smallville. And i love having my family near by. I love being able to go to my sweet new cousin's christening. i love being there for my uncle's surprise party (Where, by the way, he snuck in the back way and surprised all of us). I love walking into my aunt's house and immediately smelling and feeling the most incredible comfort. I love playing (or trying to play, give the missionary kid a break) dance dance revolution with my cousins. I love walking into church and feeling totally at peace. I love anticipating beautiful worship and an incredible sermon. I love being blessed by both. I love knowing that i can get in a car and drive as little as five minutes and see people i love and wish i could see every day.I love sitting in the Russian Baker's house and laughing so hard i literally cant stop. I love Chik-fil-a and Starbucks and Old Navy and Target. I love knowing that in 4 days i get to go to camp! i love being back.

Normally i write from Ghana. i miss it. I miss hearing "annaaaa! wo aba?!" when i walk in the gate from school. I miss being called "small daddy!". I miss our sweet neighbor dropping by and making me feel like family has come to visit. I miss our new neighbor and her sweet daughters, whose new faith and incredible questions challenge me and encourage me all the time. I miss walking into my older sister's room and being able to spill my heart. I miss Sunday night family time in my parent's room. I miss my bed. I miss the Ike house and all of the prayer, ministry, encouragement, and general outpouring of life that goes on there. I miss taxi rides to school and all that that implies:). I miss walking. I miss my PramPram kids and their amazing faith and love. I miss my sisters who are not even remotely related to me but whom i love so much(you know who you are). I miss the wisdom of four incredible girls who taught me more than i could ever have taught them. I miss the smell of my ghana. I miss my mormons and my girls and all of our craziness. i miss taking taxis. I miss Papaye's. I miss my animals. I miss the way life is in ghana.

You know those completely overused and just plain obnoxious phrases like "Home sweet Home" or "Home is where the heart is"? I hate those. Home is always bittersweet in my world. Its never home for long, and being home in one place means leaving a perfectly equal, but competely different home behind. So then i try "Home is where the heart is". Nope. unless i can have two separate hearts. or break mine in two. My heart is not in one place or the other. it is very much equally in both places and i cant pull away from either completely.

Im not saying that i dislike this struggle necessarily. How could i when i do love both places so much? I dont want to give up either one just to make things easier. I wouldnt trade this struggle for anything. But its still a struggle. So when i got sick of trying to find meaning in cliches, I turned to the one place i knew had answers. And this is what i found. Because our God is good and full of Grace. "At that time i will gather you; at that time i will bring you home". Thats all. it comes at the tail end of one of my favorite passages of scripture and ive probably read it 50 times. But the other day it hit me. And i mean, i get more than excited over going home to heaven, but reading this was more than that. Like, He will bring me to that feeling of home even before heaven. He will fulfil that need, or void, if thats what it is. He will gather me. Its a promise.

Laughter

I love to laugh
HAHAHAH
LOUD and LONG and CLEAR.

Mary Poppins. One of those movies that just stays with you. I mean who doesnt enjoy watching people float on the ceiling and jump through sidewalk-chalk drawings? Who, in all honesty, hasnt wanted to be the person floating on the ceiling and jumping through the drawings? That movie represents a beautiful, carefree side of life that most people, myself included, lose at about age 6. I think people should mourn that loss more than they do. I mean, i understand needing to grow up and have responsibility and get work done. This is not some very flimsy Peter Pan-like protest against hard work or highschool. Its just a plea for us to be able and willing to let loose and laugh. For no apparent reason. And to laugh so hard that we cant stop. Laughter that makes your stomach hurt and ends up making you just feel better, body, mind and spirit, when its over.

My family has a new tradition. Every sunday night we gather in my parent's room and 'debrief' i guess. We talk about what the Lord has taught each of us, we tell fun stories from the week, we tell frustrating stories from the week. we talk. we sit. we spend those 20 minutes completely undisturbed as a family. It is a precious time. And at the end, to the sound of my unfailing protest, we lie on the floor, each with our head on one other family member's stomach. And someone starts to laugh. It is one of those feelings that should change the world. Liberating, beautiful, joyful, innocent. We just laugh. And the literal feeling of each other's laughter sets off a chain reaction that has us all in happy tears by the end. I feel clean, renewed and joyful in every part of my body by the end. Its awesome.

I Love to LAUGH

HAHAHAHA

Its Getting Worse Every Year.

Come to Jesus meetin'

I discovered something the other day. Sometimes its not enough to be right. I like to think about things in black and white. If something is wrong then its wrong, period. If something is unjust, it should be rectified. As soon as possible in my world. And while all of this is ideally very good, my world just doesnt work sometimes. Black and white gets shaken up sometimes. There will always be grey areas.

I have a situation at school. There is a teacher there that i have trouble respecting sometimes. Ok, well most of the time. He isnt very good at bringing stuff down to a level that highschool students can understand. Saying that used to make me really mad and worked up. In my head, my argument was, this guy is not a good teacher, we're not learning anything so why is he still teaching here? And i felt perfectly justified. All of the students who had him or had experienced his teaching agreed with me, the test scores agreed with me, even the administration agreed with me, and the rest of my class when we went multiple times to complain. We were right. I dont mean to say that pridefully or with disdain but simply to show that in a black and white world, we should have seen our complaints taken care of and a bad situation fixed. In a black and white world.

Every time that i had this man's class i would come home with a new grievance (in my mind unacceptable atrocity) to lay at the feet of my poor parents(or tatum or whoever happened to be close enough to listen to me blow off steam). And finally my dad and i had what he likes to call a 'come to jesus meetin'. He heard my arguments. He listened while i tore this man's teaching abilities to shreds. And then he looked me in the eyes and said, "anna, you can cry injustice, wrong, and unfair, until youre hoarse. But clearly you cant change this situation. BUT you can change your attitude towards the situation. You cant change this man, but you can change you" Now, i had heard this before. Im sure all kids have at some point. But it really hit home this time. Sure, i was right. Sure, the school probably should have done something about this a long time ago. But i was making myself miserable, encouraging my classmates to make themselves miserable, and most incredibly unacceptable, I was hurting this teacher. I was crying injustice and no one was listening. So do i continue to cry simply because im right? by virtue of the fact that i have full justification? absolutely not. I lay this man at the feet of Jesus and i walk away. I dont ignore the wrong, but when screaming that wrong doesnt work, i whisper it to the One who knows black and white better than anyone else and i let Him take care of it. I thank the Lord that i have wise and wonderful parents who hear my frustrations and give me much needed perspective. They help me shift the blinders out a little further. Thanks daddy. I needed it desperately

Because I walked out of that teacher's class yesterday having really learned something for the first time all year.

My Dad Just Dropped It

Thank you Caroline Davidson. We are all just sitting innocently at the dinner table and somehow my dad decides he needs to get up and drop it. Michael Mozley:master of the unexpected and not normal. And i love it. it was funny.

Anyways, its officially been over a month since ive written. I am terrible. seriously, im so sorry annie. although the threat of you coming to Ghana was a great incentive to not write for a little longer. I want you in ghana!

So this past weekend, I went on an HFH(Habitat for Humanity) trip with four of my wonderful friends from Lincoln. We went by bus to a small village about an hour from accra. It was so nice cause its been way too long since ive gotten to hang out in a village. I was getting way spoiled and my twi is too rusty. So anyways, we got to the village around nine and were welcomed by the pastor of the village. Then we got right to work. Me and my friends Sophie, Sabine and Abbi moved and laid bricks for an outhouse. Thank you First Pres team, carrying bricks with yall more than prepared me. These bricks were mud and let me tell you, there is a huge weight difference. The brick-carrying was hard but fun, then we got to try brick-laying, which all of us agreed was our favorite. We worked on that till lunch at twelve. After lunch we went to the other work site and plastered for awhile.

THEN it started pouring down rain. If you havent experienced a West African rainstorm i would say a visit to ghana is necessary. They are wonderful. So we all stood out in the rain and got completely soaked. It was awesome. Then, after about 30 minutes the chaperones told us to go back to our room. But the girls and I decided to explore the village instead. Little rebels we are. We were walking through the village, that had turned into a river. And we passed these little boys cooking something over a fire. They called us over so we went to visit. And they were cooking a little duiker, which is like a tiny antelope. They took great pleasure in showing us its head. sick. but it was fun talking to them and they showed us the the groundnut soup they were making and i got to use some of my twi. So fun. We visited with them for awhile and then kept walking. Now, on our way home from the work site, we had seen these guys trying to push a big trotro out of the mud. And it wasnt going well. And they were still there while we were walking around. So they called us over to marry them and help push. We had to refuse the marriage offer(gotta keep our options open), but we agreed to help them push. And we pushed the trotro out the first time we tried! we're good, im just saying:). So that gave us our bragging rights for the trip.

More seriously though, i loved being in that village. The Lord really reminded me of why im in ghana. I feel like that had gotten a little lost in accra. Accra is a relatively easy place to live and there arent many chances to just hang out with kids and speak twi. It was so good. A hard trip, definitely, but overall, so good. And it was so much fun to watch my friends from Lincoln enjoy it. For one of them, it was her first time ever in a village and she just moved here from the States. They were all so good, we had a blast.

Ok, so there you go, that was my weekend. Before i go, i want to introduce one of the superlatives that tatum, amy and i chose for the First Pres team. Ill try and give one every time i blog. hah
MILES: Best dancer.
he's my hero.

Sick

So im in the bathroom getting ready for school, minding my own business, thinking that im alone, since, i mean its my bathroom. I go to wipe my face with my towel and a HUGE cockroach JUMPS OFF MY TOWEL. IN MY BATHROOM. and normally im ok with cockroaches, they dont really bother me. But on my towel in my bathroom is a clear invasion of privacy. im just sayin. I just thought you should know

Copy-cat

We have an Africa Grey Parrot. The newest addition to the Mozley menagerie. and when i call it a menagerie i am not even exaggerating. Not even a little. We have a ridiculous number of animals in our house. Anyways. This grey parrot was a very exciting addition. My mom and i have been wanting to get one since we moved here. However, the only person this parrot seems to tolerate is my dad. Go figure. Birds just tend to do that in our house. This parrot, whose name is Nooma(shout out to Rob Bell), likes to bite anyone else who comes near her. very anti-social. Its slightly annoying. Anyways, one of the cool things about grey parrots is that they can learn to talk. Or more accurately, to mimic whatever they hear around the house. Our bird has begun to test out this ability. So far she can mimic our puppy whining, luke's very loud scream (she can do this one perfectly. There have been a couple of times that ive gone into the living room to tell Luke to stop screaming and its the bird), the cat crying at the window, some form of hello, and the fart machine.

Yes i did just say that our parrot can mimic the fart machine. How sad is that? Maggie owns a machine that makes very convincing farting noises, activated by a remote control. We made the mistake (or maybe it was on purpose...) of putting this fart machine near the bird cage. And she is very talented at mimicry(?), what can i say. Thankfully (/dangit), shes only made the lovely noises a couple of times.

So the other day i was thinking about how accurately she mimics things. Which made me consider how amazing it is that she can fully sound like Luke screaming. To the extent that i mistake it for him. And then i thought about how much of the stuff i do is just an imitation of what ive seen other people do. Nooma doesnt really have her own noises. I mean a couple, but the older she gets, the more stuff she will simply mimic. And that made me wonder, how much of who i am and what i do is me, and how much is other people that i try to mimic? Do i do stuff because its who i am or because it looks or sounds like someone else? Or simply because i know that whatever that stuff is will allow me to be liked or admired? Thinking about this was a little dissapointing. Because I started to realize that a lot of the stuff i do, ive gotten from other people. And im not saying that all of it is bad. Im just saying that im not sure if its me, or a copy of someone else. And should that bother me? Probably, at least a little.

But then there's the other side. Is it possible that i could mimic my Jesus that convincingly? To the extent that Nooma mimics Luke for example. How cool would that be? Could i mimic His love, His patience, His ability to see people's hearts rather than their faces or attitudes, His grace, His beautiful way of hanging out with the hard, often fallen, 'fishermen' of a society and influencing them without being influenced and without seeming at all pushy or religious? Cause i want that. And all those things I said i want to mimic about Christ is all that im not. At least not in my heart.

So my grey parrot has made me seriously ponder myself. and how much im like her. hah. sorry reading over that last line was funny. So i think im ok with mimicry. As long as i mimic the right Person. But i have a feeling this process is going to take awhile. AnD it will probably be hard. But i think thats ok. Im gonna have some growing pains for awhile.
love

The Grade

So i kinda have a new motto if you will. Im getting kinda fed up with school so...ive decided that grades should be a means not an end. deep i know. and im sure this has been said before but i dunno i guess it just hit me recently. Cause Lincoln is a VERY competitive school that prides itself on very good grades. And that can be a good thing, it motivates people to do well. but im sick of it, quite honestly. And the fact that grades will get me into college drives me crazy. SO i think that grades should be a means of motivating people to pursue the knowledge that we hopefully come away with at the end of our schooling days. But they definitely shouldnt be the end or the reason that we're in a class or working hard in a class. Cause thats retarded. I mean, sweet, ill be able to say i got an A in Biology in highschool 20 years from now, but do i remember anything from Biology even now? Nope. Almost nothing. So thats my rant about school and grades. But i think that this can have a bigger meaning for my life as a christian too.

Ok Im gonna try and get this out, and i hope it makes sense. So first of all my Jesus says, Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. So heres my thing. Stuff we do in our walk with the Lord and things we 'accomplish' is awesome. And its very important. I mean, He calls us for a purpose, absolutely, and Im not trying to negate that or say that its unimportant, it is SO important. BUT its not the most important. Its not the end. He has called us first and formost to LOVE Him. And to let Him pour His love for us over us, that we may spread it to everyone around us without even consciously doing anything but loving HIM. Talk about cool. He's showing me that this, above all, is my main purpose in life. I know that. I claim it. Cause it is just too awesome to let go of. And too important to ignore.

And I Pray that you, being rooted and established in LOVE may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the LOVE of Christ, and to know this LOVE that surpasses knowledge-- that you may filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

A Picture

is worth a thousand words, or so they say. But i think i disagree. I think a picture is a whole lot more than a thousand words. Seriously there have been many many times when words completely fail me...like not just that i dont have enough, its that i literally cant express something in words. It has happened several times with this very blog. and im sure if i could figure out how to put flippin pictures up on this thing i would use them a lot more. gosh. anyways this thing does have a point.

So tonight was family night at the mozley house (minus my mama which was very sad). And the first activity was to look through very very old pictures. Some of which should never have been taken and which will hopefully never be seen in public. But that is beside the point. The point is that those pictures brought back so many awesome memories. Like they didnt just capture the one moment that the picture showed. when i looked at some, i could remember the whole day, everything that happened, in detail. It was so cool. It made me miss people a lot. And it was funny because when i stepped away from looking at the pictures it was like i was back in the real world. as cheezy as i know it sounds, it was really like i had stepped away from real life for a few minutes. And it was nice. Thats the great thing about memories. So often you remember all the good things. I mean there were probably some memories that went along with those pictures that werent very pleasant but i didnt remember them. It was so good is all im sayin.

And no worries guys. Me and Amy and Tatum are going to figure out how to scan them and put them up here. hah. You know yall are good friends when i let you see some of them. so yeah. i just needed to get that down i guess. I feel very refreshed after enjoying those pictures. refilled. its nice.
love lots

Deep

"Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls all your waves and breakers have swept over me"

How incredible is that? deep calls unto deep. That phrase refuses to stop going through my head. and i didnt even know what verse it was, where it came from, and i dont think i heard someone say it recently. I mean i guess Someone did say it cause thats what the Lord has been speaking over my heart lately. the image that hits me when i think of this is from Ted Dekkers Black Red and White. the 'real' people had to continually bathe in water that at first hurt, made you feel like you were drowning, but took you to depths of light and an incredible, all-encompassing love and peace that didnt exist outside of the water...except through those who had bathed and experienced the depths. Going deep is scary. Every time that phrase 'deep calls unto deep' plays through my head i get excited but if im gonna be honest, i cringe a little too. the white flaky people in the series (its been awhile i cant remember what they were called) were terrified of the water. despite the knowledge that those who had bathed had become whole people, real people, people who could truly live. They were scared because the water changed people. You couldnt bathe without being stripped, pulled, torn a little, and, i mean the reality was that you drowned before you came up. you died. Thats a scary thought. Depth is not an easy, comfortable concept.


I love in the Great Divorce how Clive describes heaven. The grass hurt, you could walk on the water, even the light hurt those who had 'come up' from the misty town below. because the place they had come to was so real, so deep, so firm that it made you look like a ghost in comparison. " i had got 'out' in some sense which made the solar system itself seem an indoor affair. It gave me a feeling of freedom, but also of exposure, possibly of danger..."

The deep that the Lord is i guess drawing me to is going to hurt, my feet are going to take some time to harden so i can feel the beautiful softness of the grass, and i am probably going to have to drown. But the hurt of the thought of not going deeper scares me more. i want this desperately. Right now my toes are in the pool, i just have to let go and fall in. Ive never been very good at that. letting go of something that seems solid, comfortable, terrifies me. But i guess thats where He can work the most.

Im avoiding school work

SO i changed my blog. I like clouds. and this template made me happy. Although i feel like all of the ones i choose have very little color. So then i had to play around with the colors and font of my blog to make it more interesting. Im blogging about my blog. Im officially pathetic. hey at least i recognize it. And as my friends it is yall's resposibility to help me. please. thats all

Well...

So we all know what last wednesday was. And i have to agree with Amy's sentiments that Valentines is the most useless holiday ever. My teacher was like i would so much rather get something from someone on a random day so i knew they really meant it instead of just felt obligated to give something cause its Valentines day. I agree completely.
Having said all that, Wednesday was probably my fav Valentines day ever. At school that day Alistair( I have GOT to find out if thats how you spell his name) came up to me and Sabine and was like "So you guys are coming to the Dance Dance Revolution Valentines Party at Kips house today right?" I mean seriously. I really wish yall knew Kip and Alistair because just the thought of them doing DDR makes me laugh. So I didnt really think i could go cause i had a huge French test the next day blah blah blah. yes they all think im a nerd.
ANYWAYS. I got home and my mom was like GO. Stay home now and study a little while and then im going out anyways and ill take you. I love my mom. So me and my friend Pilar (who lives like right down the street from me) went to the Mormons for a Valentines party. Course it ended up being me, her, Kip, Alistair, and for a little while trent and Matt(two 10th grade mormons). So we come into Kips house and Alistair comes flying out of kitchen and slides to a stop in front of us (Tiled floors + socks). "welcome. Please take a scooter". There were two scooters leaning against the wall. Pilar and i declined the scooters and just walked in. "Please take a seat. But if you sit at the table, please sit on the far side" (why we would sit at the dining room table instead of the livingroom couch on any normal day is beyond me.) But we sat at the table because Alistair told us to. There were two plates and glasses set and candles lit. i kid you not. Oh but it gets better.
So me and Pilar are just sitting there looking at each other like what the heck. And the whole time Kip and Alistair are running in and out of the kitchen very secretively. then Kip brings us an appetizer(his words, not mine) of frozen peanut butter cookies. They were delicious but a little hard to bite. Then they brought out Chicken and rice. They made us dinner. LOL. Although they did clarify that the chicken was from the freezer and they had just gotten it out of the microwave. But still, they made us DINNER. it was hilarious. And then while we ate they performed for us their skills on DDR. So fun. Then when we finished we played DDR. hah. im REALLY bad. Kip laughed. Alistairs comment was, "hey anna you know the other day when you said you have no rhythm, you were right" thanks guys. THEN Alistair was like lets dance. well i had just discovered at the MUN dance that Kip could swing dance so i was like sure why not. So we went in the kitchen with Kips computer, turned off the lights, opened the microwave, turned on "Time After Time" and danced. by microwave light. Now if that isnt the best Valentines ever, i dont know what is.
So we have an incredibly awesome team here from MHS so ill tell yall about the second half of Valentines night in the next one.
love

Donuts and Chinese Food

both of which have been very important parts of my life in the last three days. Because of course the last three days have been the third annual LCS(lincoln Community School) MUN(model united nations) conference. You would be amazed at the level of randomness that goes into creating a good MUN conference. We had four schools participating, two from Ghana, one from Burkina and one from Turkey. Two of the Turkey students are staying at my house and they are so awesome. We've had many good conversations and they even showed me some sweet Turkish folk dancing. Its good stuff. So at the conference the other day (its at the Kofi Anan Peacekeeping Center which i think is pretty sweet) we were discussing a pretty ridiculous topic and a resolution(the written 'answer' to the problem) that made next to no sense. But alas, we as chairs of the committee had to try and keep the debate going. So i called upon the delegate of France to tell us his country's opinion on the resolution. And he proceeded to give a brilliant and thoroughly hilarious analogy of a donut. "this resolution is like a donut. It makes us happy and gives us feelings of joy and it has lots of delicious crunchy things in it. Even though it is lacking in some areas, hence the hole in the middle, it still makes us happy and makes us laugh" By this time none of us can keep a straight face and no one is taking this seriously (bad chair anna). THEN the delegate of China rises and states "The delegate of china agrees with the delegate of France(welcome to trying to talk at MUN it tends to get ridiculous) to some extent. However, donuts are bad for you. they make you fat" Thank you delegate of china for clearing that up for us. Now during this inspiring and very productive debate, the delegate of the UK has been shooting rubber bands at the delegate of china and this is starting to get on chair anna's nerves. So she gives him a look and a carefully whispered "stop it!". Three of those later she gives up. " The chair would like to remind all delegates, in particular the delegate of the UK, that rubber band shooting is completely out of order. She would like a written apology to the entire committee." This is the written apology, somewhat paraphrased. "The delegate of the UK would like to apologize to the entire committee for assaulting the delegate of China, but the delegate of the UK does not like communists or chinese food". Now all decorum and protocol is officially out the window. laughing is now in order delegates.
just a little taste of MUN for you. Ill tell you about the MUN/Lincoln dance in the next post. cause this one is too long. Get excited cause its good

Please dont take anything i say seriously

I was up at four. It just happens sometimes. You know, when you wake up and your hair is wet and your skin is wet and you did NOT just get out of the shower. That awesome feeling of a blanket of heat smothering you as you try to get that extra hour of sleep. And then you give up and get up, light a candle (by now im hoping you realize that these are all symptoms of lights off in the Mozley home) and continue writing your historical investigation. Which you finally stopped in delirium at 11 last night. This post is not supposed to have a purpose or a point so if youre waiting for one, you prolly want to stop reading now. Who knows how long this is gonna be. Although i have to stop to go to school...yeah.
So yesterday on the way home from school at 5 (we had MUN meetings till then) me and my awesome friends/surrogate family, Mrs. Nansie and Alex were in a taxi. And taxis in ghana really enjoy not following traffic rules(the few that there are and no, i dont think there are actually any in writing). Which when you are in one in traffic is nice, but when they try and cut you off...well lets just say they get some pretty dirty looks from yours truly. ANYWAYS. we are in traffic and the taxi pulls onto the shoulder to get around it (the traffic).And there is a policeman up ahead and the taxi cant merge back into traffic. So the policeman( the ONE time they actually decide to enforce the nonexistent traffic laws) makes us keep going in the lane we were in. Which takes us basically back to where we started. So we got out and walked (and this is where the post turns positive. FINALLY). And it was so fun! I have so missed walking here cause i walked everywhere in Kumasi and its just not as easy or convenient here. So me and Mrs. Nansie and Alex walked home and it was a blast. Very refreshing. ok. i have to go to school now. I sincerely apologize for this post. i just felt like writing. hah.

some things i love...and dont like so much

yes i am so copying annie. I mean seriously, who wouldnt? but i cant commit to ten things i like cause its past ten and my bedtime was awhile ago, anyways
1. BLOGS
they are great. seriously, the first thing i do when i get home from school is check everyone's blogs. I also enjoy the fact that all the ones i check have links to the next ones i want to read. Its very convenient and it makes me happy that all my friends are friends with each other. so links make me happy...what can i say, im easy to please.
2. FUNNY FRIENDS
I have come to realize that i have a lot of very funny people in my life. And i really enjoy it. I love to laugh, and there are so many people around me who make me laugh. Im glad God made humor, and laughter. Its my fav when im with a group of people and we start laughing so hard we cant stop... and then you just feel so much better when youre done laughing. Its nice is all im sayin.
3. TECHNO MUSIC AT LUNCH WITH MORMONS
i mean you have to clarify something like that. Cause you cant just go around saying you really like techno music. at least i dont think i could. But at lunch, with the extremely funny (see # 2) mormon friends, its just so much more enjoyable. I mean have you ever seen several mormon guys dancing around picnic tables to techno songs. Its hilarious (really hilarious, since i am no longer able to use my previous adjective).
4. THE SCOOP VANILLA ICE CREAM WITH HARD CHOCOLATE ON TOP
for those of you who havent been to ghana and need yet another reason to come, this is a good one. Kinda superficial, yes, but still really good. This is non-dairy, non-sugar ice cream. It is made completely with honey and soy milk. I know that sounds nasty, but just ask our dear friends Ry and Annie and they can express to you just how not nasty it is. We've decided its addicting.
5. MY NEW DISCIPLESHIP GROUP GIRLS
Mrs. Nansie, our fearless youth group leader ( you have to be fearless to lead a youth group) has set up three discipleship groups led by the 17 and 18 year old girls in our youth group (there are three of us, hence the three groups. its late ok) And i have the most awesome girls in my group. Im so excited about this. Cause in all honesty they are prolly gonna teach me more than i can ever teach them. Its gonna be awesome, im excited.
6. POWER
so this is more a dislike, cause i dont have it right now. And its the fourth time tonight that i havent had it. So this post is going to keep going till we have it again. Cause the internet doesnt work when the power is off. And not only is this the fourth time tonight, we have it off all night tomorrow night. This is called load-shedding (code for ghana sells their electrical power to Togo and then tells Ghanaians that we have a water shortage and cant produce enough electricity) and it happens every five days for twelve hours. its my fav.
p.s. the power just came back on.
7. WATER
another kind of dislike cause for the past week and a half we havent had that. And i enjoy bucket baths (amazingly im serious, they are kinda fun) but a week is a long time. for not having a shower at least. And whats even more fun is when you are in the process of taking said bucket bath and the power goes off. Its awesome. Life is never boring here to say the least.
8. NOT COCKROACHES
um yeah i had to add this because as i was writing the previous one, a cockroach roughly the size of my thumb crawled up the back of my desk. My skin is still crawling. So just know that i had to pause in the middle of that last mini post and kill the cockroach (and in the process half the things on my desk). ew. those things dont die. And for those of you that will be discouraged from coming to visit because of that, i just want to say that that was a rare occurance, although they seem to like my room ( which is actually ok cause my mom and Mags hate them). ugh. sorry. im still grossed out. ok, moving on
9. BREAKFAST FOR DINNER
for those of you who havent tried this, it is a must. We had it tonight. One of the things that makes it so fun is that you feel like its saturday morning and you are making a big, stay-at-home-cause-you-have-nothing-to-do breakfast. Its great. And stress relieving. We had bacon, pancakes and hashbrowns. It was delicious.
10. DAVE BARRY
Hes funny. thats pretty much all there is to it
11. VERSES ABOUT THE LORD'S LOVE FOR ME
especially Zephaniah 3:14-17. "Sing, O Daughter of Zion; shout aloud, O Israel! Be glad and rejoice with all your heart, O Daughter of Jerusalem...17 The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing" How good is that?? It gives me butterflies. Its just so beautiful. And i feel beautiful hearing it.
12. BED
which is where im heading right now. gnight my wonderful friends. i love yall!!

I love Matt Kearney

"Faith like a child from your first birth You left it in the dirt on your worst hurt And I see each tear in every scar The hands that have held you where you are And I can see we've strayed so far A king born under that morning star A crown of thorns that was placed to erace Each tear that touched your face His palms and sides were pierced with spears He hung in love just to draw you near My girl not of this world Can't you see this is where we started"

Does anything else really need to be said? After that, any words i write would be completely cliched and inadequate. I love how this man sings. His words are so big, so beautifully, scathingly sympathetic (that makes no sense unless youve listened to him. Its good stuff, thats all ive got to say

Sometimes i feel like a drowning grasshopper

I started swim team on Friday. And let me just tell you before hand that this story could be either very embarrassing or very funny and im really hoping itll be the second one. Cause the actual experience was plenty embarrassing thank you very much. Here's what i discovered on my way to start swim team: a) I dont know how to dive. Shocking i know. Im freaking 17 years old and i cant dive. b) i am very much out of shape. enough said there. c) i havent swum like strokes in probably at least five years. hah. i know.
So at this point yall are probably thinking and WHY did you sign up for swim team again?? that is a good question that i was very much asking myself. Well there are two good answers to that question. Or i guess i should say two answers to that question that at least make sense. The first is to fix fact b). I want to get in shape. The second answer is, in my opinion, much more frustrating and superficial. I need Action hours. For those of you who have not been sucked into the ridiculous world that is IB (I pray you stay ignorant in that department), all students are required to have 150 CAS hours. CAS stands for Creativity, Action and Service. its supposed to make us look like one of those dreaded "well rounded" students on our college applications. I mean seriously. So ill come back to ranting over well-rounded students in a minute. Dont worry, its a subject very close to my heart. For now i want to finish my swim team story.
So i get to swim team thinking that i am only doing this for the exercise and that ill just take it slow cause were not gonna be competing anyways(no other highschool in Ghana has a pool or a swim team). and then they hit me with this, "we are going to be having tryouts for varsity and jv". FOR SWIM TEAM??? Are they serious??? Ok see one of the main reasons i signed up for swim team was because there were no tryouts involved. Im just not a competitive, organised sports- type person. yall know me, im just not. So we start the warm up. and the warm up is a 400. Which means, you do two laps in each stroke. There are 4 strokes. hah. yeah. Now go back up and look over reason b) again and you can guess the outcome of this story. basically i ended up in the nurses office cause i couldnt see very well. I thought i was gonna drown a couple of times. it was bad guys. really bad.
So that explains the drowning part of the title. Now for the grasshopper part. it kinda ties into the well rounded student bit. Although im not very good at organising my thoughts especially when they make sense in my head. Thats always a bad sign. So this saturday at youth group we talked about the Israelites coming into the Promised Land and the story of Joshua and Caleb. Basically when the 12 spies were sent to see what the Promised Land was like, ten came back and said "we looked like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them" Numbers 13:33. Ok first of all, these are the same people who had just crossed the Red Sea on dry ground. And followed a freaking pillar of fire to where they were. And watched their God turn the River Nile to blood. grasshoppers? i think not. But they did. And i think too often i look at myself like that. Its like Lord, i cant do swim team or go to Lincoln or be a well rounded student cause i mean, face it, im a grasshopper. And then i read stuff about the Israelites and im like man were they ever clueless. And the Lord goes, SMACK. HELLO?? lol. Do you not see what im doing for you?? what ive already done! The Lord told the Israelites that He had already givent them the Promised Land. The battle was already over and they still didnt want to go fight. And i think thats what He's trying to tell me too. maybe swim team is kinda a lame example but when the two happened within a day of each other i was like yeaah. Theres something there.
So forget being a well-rounded student. I cant do that. He knows what He has called me to do and He's gonna do it whether i can dive or not. All i have to do is jump in and start swimming. And when i feel like im drowning, i hold on tighter to the hope He has promised me. Phil Wickham put it beautifully (thank you Annie!!) he said, "I need a hope thats louder than mine". Yep. nice. My hope whispers sometimes and when it does im gonna have to be like ok Lord start yelling. So im gonna go get my milk and honey, even if i get a little wet along the way. Thanks for listening you guys. It means a lot.

Im gonna drive

So at church yesterday Tonya spoke and she told this story. A little boy went up to his dad and said, "Dad, im gonna drive!" and the dad looked at his sweet little five year old son and said "YES! but lets wait till youre ready". Gosh. How often have i gone to the Lord and said "Dad, im gonna drive!" I want so desperately to do the "big" things, to go to the hard places, to be in the country and with the people that i know He has called me to. And He wants me there. But im not ready yet. If He gave me the keys now, i'd kill me and everyone around me. As much as i think im ready and as useless as i sometimes think these years of school and "mundane" life are, they are only preparing me for what He has called me to later. And that doesnt mean that this is a "break" and it doesnt mean that i just sit back and tell these years to hurry up and get over with cause i have bigger, better things to do. Im sure that little five year old boy played with lots of toy cars and pretended to "drive" for many years before he actually got behind the wheel. And i bet neither he nor his dad regretted those years of "play" and "training". I still have so much to learn. And ever so slowly the Lord is revealing the awesome opportunities and experiences He gives me every day. They are for a veyr specific person and i cannot allow myself to ignore them or blow them off even when they seem boring or useless. Thats it, i love blogs cause i needed to get this down somewhere and im not very good at journaling. the end

I dont feel like writing...

Cause its late and i have to go to school in the morning. But if i dont write now then my next blog will be forever long and we all know how that goes. Anyways.
So this past saturday(yesterday) me and my friends sabine and sophie went over to our mormon friend Kyles house and hung out with him and Dallin, Kip and Alistair(?) (three other mormon guys). oh my gosh yall it was such a blast. First we locked Kip in a closet and he reemerged a few minutes later wearing Kyles clothes. I have no idea. then we watched The President's Man. Ok seriously its one of my new fav movies. It has Chuck Norris. thats really all you need to know. Oh and the fact that it has a sequel. I kid you not. It was hilarious. I dont think we stopped laughing. then we played foozball(?) me and sabine only lost to Kip and Dallin by one point. Which, since yall know my sports abilities (even table sports, please dont underestimate my lack of skill) is pretty impressive. So yeah that was my saturday night. It was fun. Oh and i love the second season of The Office. thank you Downs family!! its hilarious. yeah thats all i got. gnight.

Hope

Ok this post will be quick (sorry about the last one, it was way too long) cause i have to go to school. But i was just listening to Misty Edwards. She inspires me. Man. My verse for this week and probably longer than that just cause its so good is Hebrews 10:23. read it its so good. Im finding a strength that is not my own simply because my Lord promised it. That amazes me. Blows my mind. Why would He give me the strength to get through each day when most of the time i drag myself out of bed. why does He give me these little blessings that are often barely noticeable and yet they keep me going. Even promises of things that may or may not happen in the much later future give me a hope that is not natural or even normal. And i love it.

That was my thought this morning. I love starting the day with worship music. it does great things to my mind. I also got a study hall at school yesterday so i now have three classes a week that i can sit in the library. Just an example of one of those seemingly "mundane" blessings that he keeps throwing at me. Yall life is not good right now But He is making it good in my heart. How cool is that?? anyways. I love all of yall. so much.

I live, I breathe

Wow. Life is weird. Not bad weird just weird. God does things in weird ways. My friends ( most of whom read this blog) just left. And life used to say i would be really depressed and just sad. And in many ways i am. I mean i still really wish they were here. I miss talking to them. But no longer will i let that sadness define what i do and how i view things. Before it was like i looked at everything in view of the fact that i lived thousands of miles away from my most wonderful friends. They were doing and having all kinds of experiences that i couldnt be a part of. And it hurt. NOW i look at it as, man, God gave me some amazing friends and yes i miss them and yes i wish i was with them. BUT He has also given me experiences to do and have here. Maybe theyre not fun in the way i would expect or like but they are still experiences that He has called me to have.

This weekend i went on a retreat with my youth group here. There were forty kids(teenagers, whatever) and like eight adults. Which in itself is pretty incredible because our youth group is not big. Lots of new people came and it was SO fun. Honestly, i wasnt expecting to have a great time. I mean the thing started the day all my friends left and i was not in the mood to have a good attitude. Sad yes but im being brutally honest here cause i can now. We had a speaker and a worship leader come from the States and both of them were incredible (deirdre and Tonya). I got the awesome opportunity to help on the worship team. Yall the worship on this trip was...i mean i dont even know how to describe it. Indescribable. All my life ive loved worship and what it means and the fact that we get to experience God through it and in some small, more than minute way, give something back to him. But this weekend i realized something. He doesnt have to always show up. We are still called to bless Him and worship Him, even when we dont FEEL anything. And not that He didnt show up this weekend cause He did in ways ive never seen before. ah. Its just that i realized that so much of my faith and worship was based on what i felt. Which is not necessarily a bad thing. We have to have feeling because this is after all the ultimate relationship. BUT feelings come and go. I realized this weekend that i need more than feeling to back up my faith and the truth of what i believe. Because honestly there are many many times that i have and will feel like giving up. hah, particularly lately as many of you know.

Ok so here's a specific example to hopefully make this make more sense. So throughout all her talks, Tonya talked about the Joy of the Lord. She kept saying that the Joy of the Lord is our Strength. And i was like yeah, i know that but what is wrong with me that i havent been able or willing to LIVE like i knew that these past few months. And then she said something that blew my mind and changed my life. literally. she said there are days where she has had to tell her body, mind and spirit that it is gonna be joyful if it kills her. That the joy of the Lord is her strength even when she feels as far away from joy as possible. The fact that the joy of the Lord is our strength is the truth, its God's word! And it doesnt change according to how WE feel. I was sitting there in complete amazement, What she was saying wasnt necessarily amazingly profound or complicated. It was simple and straightforward and yet it CHANGED my life. I realized that joy cant just be a feeling. Because if it is, its not constant. And the Lord has PROMISED that His joy is our strength. Period. Not just when we feel it. So joy has to be a mindset. And Tonya had this other phrase that i loved. She would say, SPeak it out your mouth!! She told us to speak truth over ourselves and to believe that truth and to walk in it. To SPEAK the joy of the Lord over ourselves. Yall, im a completely different person. He moved. Im still in amazement and awe. But the MOST amazing thing is that it didnt stop at the retreat. In fact its just beginning. Because at the retreat i felt a LOT. And that was awesome and i needed it. But now my mindset is based on the truths that were spoken. And those dont change or fade as the world closes in.

I could go on forever, and He did lots of other extremely cool things. But it will have to wait for the next blog. Cause i have to get ready for church. Oh but one last thing. We had teams at this retreat and lots of ridiculous relay competitions that im positive were created simply so the sponsors could laugh at us. Not that i blame them. So me and Conor were captains of the Sand Crabs. pretty sweet huh. So the first day we dominated at the games (go figure, we had a great team). The second day about twenty minutes before we started the games my co-captain managed to step on a sea urchin. I know, it was so sad. Im pretty sure he still has little black things in his foot. So he kindly promoted me to head captain (he had called me co-captain the whole time and insisted he was head captain). So me and Eric(the guy he named co-captain) now led the Sand crabs. Im not even sure why im telling this. it was funny then. We ended up winning which was pretty cool. yeah so that was pointless. Pray for Conor and his foot. i love yall!!!!