"Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls all your waves and breakers have swept over me"
How incredible is that? deep calls unto deep. That phrase refuses to stop going through my head. and i didnt even know what verse it was, where it came from, and i dont think i heard someone say it recently. I mean i guess Someone did say it cause thats what the Lord has been speaking over my heart lately. the image that hits me when i think of this is from Ted Dekkers Black Red and White. the 'real' people had to continually bathe in water that at first hurt, made you feel like you were drowning, but took you to depths of light and an incredible, all-encompassing love and peace that didnt exist outside of the water...except through those who had bathed and experienced the depths. Going deep is scary. Every time that phrase 'deep calls unto deep' plays through my head i get excited but if im gonna be honest, i cringe a little too. the white flaky people in the series (its been awhile i cant remember what they were called) were terrified of the water. despite the knowledge that those who had bathed had become whole people, real people, people who could truly live. They were scared because the water changed people. You couldnt bathe without being stripped, pulled, torn a little, and, i mean the reality was that you drowned before you came up. you died. Thats a scary thought. Depth is not an easy, comfortable concept.
I love in the Great Divorce how Clive describes heaven. The grass hurt, you could walk on the water, even the light hurt those who had 'come up' from the misty town below. because the place they had come to was so real, so deep, so firm that it made you look like a ghost in comparison. " i had got 'out' in some sense which made the solar system itself seem an indoor affair. It gave me a feeling of freedom, but also of exposure, possibly of danger..."
The deep that the Lord is i guess drawing me to is going to hurt, my feet are going to take some time to harden so i can feel the beautiful softness of the grass, and i am probably going to have to drown. But the hurt of the thought of not going deeper scares me more. i want this desperately. Right now my toes are in the pool, i just have to let go and fall in. Ive never been very good at that. letting go of something that seems solid, comfortable, terrifies me. But i guess thats where He can work the most.
3 comments:
I wish the earth weren't so transparent. I wish that we could know His reality. I wish I could know the substance that He gives to light and life.
Whoa, Ry.
Well, anything I want to say after that will look like a first grader.
So I'll just say that I love you, Anna, and your mom has a 5 pound block of LaParilla cheese in her possession for my favorite Ghanaians- you, Mags, and Beef Burger! Love you.
Scabs. The people who didn't bathe were called Scabs. Sometimes I feel like one. "Stay as far away from the lake as possible." I know that with the pain comes the best pleasure imaginable, the only true kind of pleasure there is, but sometimes I'd rather ignore that fact. I would do a pretty good job ignoring it too, if I weren't so miserable without the water.
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