Well, once again ive been my lazy self and havent blogged in over a month. I dont even know why i do it, i write like five in my head but when i sit down to type them, i dont know i just dont feel like it any more. weird. anyways.
Im writing from the States now. Which is fun. I love being able to go to the tea shop and talk to all the amazing ladies who work there. they inspire and encourage me in so many ways. I love sitting around and doing nothing with the greatest friends in the world, talking about absolutely everything, or watching many, many episodes of Smallville. And i love having my family near by. I love being able to go to my sweet new cousin's christening. i love being there for my uncle's surprise party (Where, by the way, he snuck in the back way and surprised all of us). I love walking into my aunt's house and immediately smelling and feeling the most incredible comfort. I love playing (or trying to play, give the missionary kid a break) dance dance revolution with my cousins. I love walking into church and feeling totally at peace. I love anticipating beautiful worship and an incredible sermon. I love being blessed by both. I love knowing that i can get in a car and drive as little as five minutes and see people i love and wish i could see every day.I love sitting in the Russian Baker's house and laughing so hard i literally cant stop. I love Chik-fil-a and Starbucks and Old Navy and Target. I love knowing that in 4 days i get to go to camp! i love being back.
Normally i write from Ghana. i miss it. I miss hearing "annaaaa! wo aba?!" when i walk in the gate from school. I miss being called "small daddy!". I miss our sweet neighbor dropping by and making me feel like family has come to visit. I miss our new neighbor and her sweet daughters, whose new faith and incredible questions challenge me and encourage me all the time. I miss walking into my older sister's room and being able to spill my heart. I miss Sunday night family time in my parent's room. I miss my bed. I miss the Ike house and all of the prayer, ministry, encouragement, and general outpouring of life that goes on there. I miss taxi rides to school and all that that implies:). I miss walking. I miss my PramPram kids and their amazing faith and love. I miss my sisters who are not even remotely related to me but whom i love so much(you know who you are). I miss the wisdom of four incredible girls who taught me more than i could ever have taught them. I miss the smell of my ghana. I miss my mormons and my girls and all of our craziness. i miss taking taxis. I miss Papaye's. I miss my animals. I miss the way life is in ghana.
You know those completely overused and just plain obnoxious phrases like "Home sweet Home" or "Home is where the heart is"? I hate those. Home is always bittersweet in my world. Its never home for long, and being home in one place means leaving a perfectly equal, but competely different home behind. So then i try "Home is where the heart is". Nope. unless i can have two separate hearts. or break mine in two. My heart is not in one place or the other. it is very much equally in both places and i cant pull away from either completely.
Im not saying that i dislike this struggle necessarily. How could i when i do love both places so much? I dont want to give up either one just to make things easier. I wouldnt trade this struggle for anything. But its still a struggle. So when i got sick of trying to find meaning in cliches, I turned to the one place i knew had answers. And this is what i found. Because our God is good and full of Grace. "At that time i will gather you; at that time i will bring you home". Thats all. it comes at the tail end of one of my favorite passages of scripture and ive probably read it 50 times. But the other day it hit me. And i mean, i get more than excited over going home to heaven, but reading this was more than that. Like, He will bring me to that feeling of home even before heaven. He will fulfil that need, or void, if thats what it is. He will gather me. Its a promise.
